


A Closer Look

by TheSacredFandomTexts



Category: Castle
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-11 20:29:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9016477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSacredFandomTexts/pseuds/TheSacredFandomTexts
Summary: Rysposito Secret Santa Fic Exchange 2k16 prompt #1:  When Esposito gets shot, Ryan saves him and therefore reveals that he might not be such a normal human being as Espo always thought and why he always seems to be afraid to get too close to his partner. What that is (elf, magician, alien race) is up to the writer.





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

Ryan ran around the corner only to be pulled roughly between two stacks of crates, the area large enough for someone to hide, and barely large enough for two someones to hide. Ryan looked up into the eyes of his partner as Esposito brought a finger to his lips so Ryan would keep quiet. Ryan nodded and they silently listened for the sound of footsteps.

 

They heard the faintest noise and Esposito met Ryan’s eyes again, taking a second to remember what it was they were doing, his eyes were that blue.

 

“You go that way.” Esposito said, barely whispering so as not to give their position away.

 

Ryan nodded again and craned his neck to look around one of the crates. After he was sure the guy wasn’t there, he took off quickly and quietly. Esposito watched him go before coming back to himself and running the other way, hoping at least one of them would find the guy.

 

As he ran, he tried to get the image of his partner out of his head. Distractions in the workplace were never good, but in his line of work they could be dangerous.

 

To provide proof of that, the universe sent him straight into the arms of their suspect. Or rather, sent his face right into the fist of their suspect.

 

Esposito’s entire head jerked back and he tasted blood in his mouth as he took several steps back. Before he was ready, he felt another punch and this time he met the ground, dazed.

 

Before he could get his bearings, he heard the cock of a gun and was ready for the worst when the familiar voice of his partner filled the room.

 

“Drop it.” Ryan said firmly, his gun at the ready.

 

“You drop it. Or I’ll shoot him.”

 

“Not if I shoot you first.” Ryan said, keeping his eyes trained on who they were now sure was a murderer.

 

“You shoot me, I’ll still shoot him.”

 

Ryan gave a little half smile. “I’d love to see you try.”

 

Esposito felt the gun at the back of his head and, were he not already frozen, he would freeze.

 

“Go ahead.” Ryan said, and Esposito gave him a shocked look. “And I’ll still shoot you.”

 

The guy’s lip twitched, as if he was pretty sure Ryan was bluffing, but still couldn’t tell. Eventually, he lifted his gun to point at Ryan. “Then I’ll make sure you go down first.”

 

“I’ve always wanted to be in a western.” Ryan said. “Let’s see who’s the fastest shot.”

 

Esposito would think on this night for the rest of his life and never actually know who shot first, but he would forever remember the panic going through his brain at the sight of blood on Ryan’s arm.

 

He hadn’t even come back to reality when Ryan was kneeling in front of him, asking if he was alright.

 

Esposito blinked. “M-me? What about you?”

 

Ryan looked down at his arm. “The bullet only grazed me, it’s fine.”

 

Esposito turned to look at the body behind him.

 

“He was a lousy shot.” Ryan said, not a single note of regret in his voice.

 

Esposito looked back at Ryan. “You were going to let him shoot me.”

 

Ryan’s face softened. “I had to make it look like I was still in power. Couldn’t let him have any leverage.”

 

“He definitely had leverage, Ryan.” Esposito said.

 

“I wouldn’t have let him shoot you if I thought he was serious.”

 

“He was a killer. I’m pretty sure he was serious.”

 

“Javi.” Ryan said firmly, forcing him to look right into his eyes. “I would not have let him shoot you.”

 

Esposito swallowed and couldn’t breathe until Ryan stood.

 

“Come on.” Ryan held out his hand. “Let’s go tell Beckett.”

 

Esposito looked at his hand and then let himself be pulled to his feet. “Well, still.” He said. “I could have died just now.”

 

Ryan just smiled at him like he was a naive child, but his hands were shaking as he dialed Beckett’s number.

 

~.~.~

 

“Well, that’s that.” Ryan said, finally closing the window on his computer and shutting it down. “That was way too much paperwork for one case.”

 

“Between seven suspects, three possible murder weapons, and Castle, I’m surprised it didn’t take us a full week to finish.”

 

Ryan pushed himself away from his computer and sighed as he stood. “But it’s over now, tomorrow’s Friday, and if we don’t get a case we’ve got the whole weekend.”

 

“Cross your fingers.” Esposito replied, standing as well. “Because you probably just jinxed us.”

 

“I thought you weren’t superstitious.” Ryan said folding his arms and raising an eyebrow.

 

“Everyone’s a little superstitious, I think.” Esposito said, throwing his coat on. “I just don’t think Castle was right about the victim being cursed.” He smirked. “And I don’t think it’s healthy for you to believe Castle’s wild theories either.”

 

“He had evidence.” Ryan pointed out.

 

“He has a wild imagination.” Esposito replied. “Curses aren’t real.”

 

“And how do you know?” Ryan led the way to the elevator.

 

“The same way I know Santa Claus isn’t the one leaving presents under my tree.”

 

Ryan smiled and rolled his eyes before pressing the button for the lobby. “Well, thanks for not telling Beckett anyhow.”

 

Esposito shrugged. “I don’t think she has to know you and Castle followed a lead about a curse and ended up breaking into the house of a poor old woman with a heart condition.”

 

“Castle swore she was a witch.”

 

“Castle also thinks werewolves exist.”

 

Ryan looked over at him and met his eyes. “Well, still. Thanks for not making me look like an idiot.”

 

“You do that all by yourself.” Esposito teased softly, giving him a warm smile. He cleared his throat. “So, how’s your arm?”

 

Ryan shrugged. “I’ll live.”

 

“He could have killed you.”

 

“He could have killed you too.”

 

“Ryan,” Esposito practically forced him to look into his eyes just like before. “Don’t ever do something like that again.”

 

The elevator dinged and Ryan jumped. “I should go.” He said quickly.

 

Esposito watched him rush out of the elevator and through the door before sighing. He adjusted the strap on his shoulder bag and followed his partner’s path outside, not seeing him anywhere and assuming he’d gotten the fastest cab he could find.

 

He headed over into the parking lot and unlocked his car, wishing Ryan would just accept his offers to give him a ride home. Ryan had come to work in a cab every day that week because his car was in the shop and every day Esposito offered to drive him home. Ryan insisted he was fine taking a cab and didn’t want to inconvenience him.

 

Of course, Esposito knew the real reason Ryan didn’t want to be in the car alone with him.

 

They’d almost kissed once. It had been a long day at work, Esposito had driven Ryan home, and there was a moment. Not long, just a couple of seconds, but Ryan had dashed out of the car about as fast as he’d dashed out of the elevator and they never talked about it again.

 

Esposito would have spent the next few months distraught about it, but it kept happening. Every time they found themselves alone in a room together, a look would pass between them and Ryan would always make an excuse to get out of there.

 

So instead of being distraught, Esposito was confused. Confused because clearly this wasn’t one-sided. Confused because they’d talked about their own sexualities before and it wasn’t going to be an obstacle. Confused because, though they’d never talked to her about it, Beckett wouldn’t have a problem with her employees dating.

 

They liked each other, they were single, and it wouldn’t interfere with work. Which meant there was something keeping Ryan from taking the plunge and Esposito couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was.

 

He’d kept his nose out of it for as long as he could, but after six months of pining for each other and never doing anything about it, Esposito was half considering doing a little light stalking.

 

When he pulled up to his apartment building and stepped out of his car, he was greeted by the cat that hung around the neighborhood, a beautiful calico with blue eyes that never stuck around for too long but had apparently adopted him.

 

“Hey, Blue.” He said, using the nickname he’d bestowed upon the cat.

 

Blue made no noise and instead looked up at him.

 

“I still don’t have any food for you.” Esposito said. “I don’t know why you follow me around.”

 

Blue stepped forward and weaved through his legs affectionately.

 

Esposito sighed and made his way into the building, watching as Blue took a different route up the fire escape. When he entered his apartment, Blue was right outside the window watching him. He set down his keys and bag and stepped over to the window to let the cat in.

 

“You know, I don’t even like cats.” Esposito said as Blue entered the apartment and immediately went to curl up on the couch as per usual.

 

Esposito rolled his eyes at the cat and rummaged through the fridge for a beer and something to eat. When he turned around, Blue was in the middle of the kitchen watching him.

 

“I’m not feeding you.” Esposito said firmly, shutting the fridge and putting some leftover Chinese food in the microwave.

 

Blue continued to watch him as he opened his beer waited for the microwave to ding. When it did, he found a clean fork in the dishwasher and made his way to his couch, Blue following close behind and then sitting on the arm of the couch, watching him.

 

Esposito turned the TV on and then looked over at Blue. “Stop watching me, you’re not getting any food.”

 

In answer, Blue stepped off the arm of the couch and onto the couch cushion, not making a single sound, and sat down.

 

Esposito stared at the cat as the cat stared at his Mu Shu Pork and sighed. “Stupid cat.” He muttered, picking up a piece of meat and feeding it to the cat.

 

He sat back and watched the TV, every once in a while feeding the cat. This was why the cat kept coming to him. The stupid thing had those big blue eyes that tugged at his heartstrings and made him want to give the cat everything.

 

He half wanted to just get the thing a collar and officially own it, but Blue was not the type of cat to be owned. Blue was an independent cat who didn’t need a master.

 

After a while, when the food was gone and Blue was curled up on the cushion presumably sleeping, Esposito sat back and polished off the last of his beer, not really concentrating on what he was watching. His mind kept going back to Ryan.

 

He couldn’t figure the guy out. Ryan had always seemed like an open book to him, but lately it seemed like he wasn’t as open as Esposito had originally thought. It seemed like Ryan had a secret. Possibly many.

 

Esposito was startled as he noticed Blue had moved from the cushion to the back of the couch right by his ear. Damn thing never made a sound.

 

“I ought to at least get you a bell.” Esposito muttered, absentmindedly scratching the top of Blue’s head.

 

Blue, clearly enjoying it, began to purr.

 

“What would he be hiding?” Esposito asked the cat softly. He knew he really was just talking to himself, but people thought you were less crazy if you talked to an animal.

 

Blue just looked at him again.

 

“We tell each other everything.” Esposito said. “He wouldn’t have a reason to keep something from me. I’ve got an open mind.”

 

Blue didn’t look convinced.

 

“Oh, what do you know?” Esposito said. “You’re a cat.”

 

Blue jumped down from the back of the couch and stepped onto his lap, looking up at him expectantly.

 

Esposito gave the cat a look before continuing to pet it. “I can’t think of anything Kevin could tell me that would make me like him less.” He said softly. “I mean, if that’s even what it is. Maybe he just… doesn’t actually like me.”

 

Blue began to purr again.

 

Esposito leaned his head against the back of the couch and sighed. “Love is bullshit.” He murmured.

 

Blue leaped off his lap and headed back over to the window, having received food and affection and apparently ready to go back out on the town.

  
“See you tomorrow, Blue.” Esposito called to the cat before going back to his plaguing thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

Esposito sat up suddenly, his heart pounding and his brain taking a second to realize where he was. When he saw the sun peeking through his bedroom window, he let out a huge sigh and fell back against his pillow, pulling his blanket over his eyes and trying to get the image of Ryan’s bleeding arm out of his head.

 

He had absolutely no idea what prompted this dream. Ryan hadn’t been seriously injured, the bullet only grazed him, but the dream felt so real. It felt like he was actually reliving it. But the actual outcome only proved to him that the dream was just a dream. Ryan hadn’t been seriously injured, caught off guard, or nearly killed. 

 

The bullet only grazed him.

 

Esposito took another deep breath because it was clearly going to take a long time to get that dream out of his head. He’d had a lot of dreams that screwed with him like this one, but they were usually dreams of things that actually happened. He hated that his brain was distorting things, convincing him that lies were true. Like it  _ wanted _ him to panic.

 

He peeked his eyes out from under the blanket and turned his head to the side, watching the sun continue to rise before deciding that getting up and getting ready would help the dream become a distant memory.

 

As he showered and dressed, the dream began to fade, but in its place came the realization that he was going to have to go to work today and act fine.

 

Ever since their almost-kiss, Ryan and Esposito had not been the same. He didn’t feel like they were friends anymore. He felt like it had all been ruined, that there was an awkwardness between them that was never going to go away. And aside from all that, there was clearly something Ryan was keeping from him.

 

He grabbed his keys and bag and looked around the apartment to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything before heading out to his car. As he opened the door, he smiled at the trail of paw prints in the dust on the roof of the car and wondered if maybe he really should just adopt the cat and live alone with it. Becoming the sad lonely single guy with a cat sounded a lot better than being the guy pining for his partner who clearly didn’t like him back, and probably pitied him.

 

The second that thought entered his head, he tried to stamp it out as he drove to work, but it was possibly the hardest thing he’d ever done. If he didn’t have to see Ryan every day, he could probably get over him. But as it turned out, the only way he was getting over Ryan was if he moved. To another country.

 

As he pulled up to the precinct, he saw Ryan getting out of a cab and when he met him at the door he gave him a look, hopefully not giving any of his thoughts away.

 

“Like I’ve said every day this week, I can give you a ride to work.”

 

Ryan just smiled. “I’m not gonna inconvenience you when I can easily take a cab.”

 

“Cabs aren’t free.”

 

“I’m good for it.”

 

Esposito rolled his eyes as he pressed the button on the elevator. “Whatever, man.” It sounded way more bitter than he’d intended, but there was a part of him that didn’t care. Maybe growing to hate Ryan would help.

 

Except one look into those blue eyes and he was pulled right back in.

 

“Hey, just in time.” Beckett said when they entered the precinct. “You guys have a new case.”

 

“Dammit.” Ryan said. “I always hope we’ll end up getting a weekend off and it never happens.”

 

“Maybe we can put up signs that say ‘No murdering on the weekends’.” Esposito suggested.

 

Ryan tried to hold in a laugh but was unsuccessful.

 

“Well, until we convince people to stop murdering each other, you guys are going to have to do your jobs.” Beckett said, holding out a sticky note with the address of the crime scene scrawled on it. “And, hey, if you solve the murder today you can still have your weekend.”

 

“That’s not wishful thinking at all.” Esposito said, looking over at Ryan expecting him to join in on the banter but was instead looking at the sticky note. “Something wrong?”

 

“What?” Ryan asked, snapping to attention. “Oh. No. I just thought I recognized the name of the victim.”

 

“We already have a name?” Esposito asked Beckett. 

 

“I sent some guys down there while I was waiting for you.” Beckett explained. “They found her wallet. But other than that, that’s all they have. Which is where you two come in, I believe.”

 

The boys dropped their bags at their computers and turned right back around and left the precinct.

 

“You’ll let me drive us to the crime scene, right?” Esposito asked, leading the way to his car.

 

Ryan gave him a look. “Yes, Espo, you can give me a ride to the crime scene.”

 

“Good.” Esposito gave him a sarcastic smile and unlocked the doors.

 

The ride there was oddly silent, and Esposito spent the entire time trying to convince himself that it wasn’t awkward, they just had nothing to say to each other. It wasn’t working.

 

When they reached the crime scene, they jumped out of the car as if they’d been electrocuted and then jogged over to the scene where Castle was waiting for them.

 

“Why are you here, Castle?” Esposito asked.

 

“I was there when Beckett got the call, I thought I’d meet you here.” Castle said simply.

 

Esposito sighed. “Fine, but no more crazy theories. If I hear anything about witches, I’m chaining you to Beckett’s desk.”

 

Castle waggled his eyebrows and Esposito gave him a very disgusted look.

 

“Let’s get to work.” Ryan said, stifling a laugh.

 

Without Beckett there to keep Castle in check and Ryan being Castle Jr., the job of making sure they used logic to solve their cases fell to Esposito. And with every case, Esposito was growing more appreciative of Beckett and realizing he absolutely took her for granted.

 

“She definitely looks like a witch.” Castle was saying.

 

“Castle, what did I say?” Esposito stepped over to where they were hovering over the body.

 

The woman looked like she’d just stepped out of a fantasy novel. She was draped in a shawl and wearing a very colorful dress, with bangles on her wrists and giant hoop earrings.

 

Ryan squatted down by her.

 

“Was she some kind of fortune teller at a county fair or something?” Esposito asked.

 

Pulling on some gloves, Ryan lifted one of the lady’s wrists. “She has tattoos on her fingers and another on her wrist.” He murmured.

 

“And?” Esposito asked, assuming there was more.

 

“I think they’re wiccan.” Ryan replied. “This one right here is a pentagram.” He indicated the star on her wrist. “And this...” He reached into one of her pockets and pulled out a large deck of cards. “Is a Tarot deck.”

 

“Looks like she went a little crazy with the fortune teller vibe.” Esposito remarked. “So we could be looking for someone who had their tarot read and didn’t like the outcome?”

 

Ryan stood. “Honestly? It’s possible.”

 

Esposito looked down at the body. “Do we know the cause of death yet?”

 

As if on cue, Lanie stepped right up next to them. “Your guess is as good as mine.” She said. “As far as I can tell her heart just stopped.”

 

“No wounds or even a bruise?” Castle asked.

 

“There’s a contusion on the back of her head, but I’m guessing that’s from the fall.” Lanie replied.

 

“Could it just be a heart attack?” Esposito asked.

 

“I won’t know for sure until I get her on the table, but considering someone was spotted fleeing the scene, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s more to it than that.”

 

“Someone fled the scene?” Ryan and Esposito asked at the same time.

 

“They’re so cute when they do that.” Lanie remarked.

 

“There’s a witness who lives not far from here who called 911.” Castle informed them. “She said the woman screamed and a man ran away. You’re welcome.” He smiled smugly.

 

“You got a head start, Castle.” Esposito said. “Doesn’t make you a detective.”

 

Castle’s smile faltered slightly, but he was too proud of his accomplishment to let Esposito’s words get to him.

 

“Well.” Esposito turned to Ryan. “How about we let Lanie take the body to the morgue and we can go interview the witness?”

 

Ryan only nodded and Esposito suddenly noticed Ryan had been oddly silent for the past few minutes.

 

“You okay, Ryan?” Esposito asked. “You sure you don’t know the victim?”

 

“You know the victim?” Castle asked.

 

“I don’t know the victim.” Ryan said. “I thought I recognized her name, but I was thinking of someone else. Let’s go.”

 

Still not convinced, Esposito led the way to his car. As he drove, he kept glancing over at his partner, trying to get another glimpse of him acting weird, but the car ride was the same as the last one: complete silence.

 

When they pulled up to the apartment complex their witness allegedly lived in, they stepped out of the car and looked around for Castle who was supposed to be following them.

 

“Okay, if he got lost, I’m not letting him live it down.” Ryan said, making his way to the building.

 

Their witness lived on the second floor, which was a relief since the elevator in the building was broken. They climbed the stairs and right as they got to the top, Castle sent Esposito a text.

 

“Ha! He did get lost.” Esposito announced.

 

“Javi, there’s someone at her door.” Ryan said, stopping where he was.

 

Esposito stopped as well and, indeed, there was someone standing in front of their witness’ door. He wasn’t particularly tall, but he was wearing a long coat with the collar popped and a hat. He was clearly someone who didn’t want to be recognized.

 

“Excuse me!” Esposito said, taking a step forward.

 

Without skipping a beat, the guy began to run. Esposito was pretty sure he didn’t even look at them to see who they were. 

 

The two of them ran after him, Esposito ahead with Ryan close at his heels.

 

The guy took the stairs two at a time, flying down them like a shadow. The detectives were less graceful, but they were still on his tail when he burst through the door and ran down an alleyway. 

 

“I’ll go around!” Esposito said to Ryan as he took off around the building, hoping to catch the guy before he could get any further.

 

He rounded another two corners and could see the dark figure coming right toward him, Ryan nowhere to be seen.

 

“Stop where you are!” Esposito yelled, pulling his gun on the guy and standing his ground, knowing Ryan was going to show up right behind him and he’d be cornered.

 

The man stopped, breathing hard, his face draped in shadow and completely impossible to make out.

 

At the same time, they heard Ryan’s footsteps and the next second the guy had a gun pointed straight at Esposito.

 

“Move.” He said, his voice matching the mystery surrounding him.

 

“Not a chance.” Esposito replied, not moving a muscle.

 

“I will kill you.” The man said, not a single note of fear in his voice.

 

“Because you already have, right?” Esposito said.

 

The man said nothing, but it was impossible not to make out the smile on his face, even with the darkness surrounding them and his face still in shadow.

 

“Javi!” Ryan called from the other end of the alley, running as fast as he could toward them.

 

“This is your last chance.” The man said.

 

Esposito didn’t move.

 

With the same amount of speed as he had when he ran, the guy pulled the trigger.

 

After that, Esposito couldn’t remember much.

 

He remembered the pain, something he was sure he was never going to forget, and he remembered Ryan calling his name. He couldn’t remember where the guy had gone. As far as he could tell, he’d disappeared in a puff of smoke.

 

He saw Ryan’s face hovering over him and he could feel the pain in his chest. Everything was fuzzy and he could hear Ryan saying something to him.

 

“You’ll be fine, Javi. I promise. “ Ryan said, shaking as he tried to staunch the bleeding. “Stay with me, okay? You’ll be fine.”

 

This definitely sounded like what people said to dying men. He wasn’t alright. He was pretty sure there was a gaping wound in his chest.

 

All of a sudden he felt the panic. He couldn’t die right here before telling Ryan everything he needed to say. But words weren’t coming out. All he could do was gasp.

 

The edges of his vision began to go black and he realized this had to be where it ended. Dying in an alley without ever telling the person he loved that he loved him.

 

The next second, he saw a light. It was almost too bright and he couldn’t tell where it was coming from. Didn’t people see bright white lights right before they died?

  
The light began to fade and he was back in the alley. His vision was still fuzzy and he could feel himself losing consciousness. The pain was also fading, but he assumed that meant death was on its way. He still couldn’t speak and he was still gasping. And the last thing he heard was Ryan calling for an ambulance.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will be updated every 1-2 weeks, and if not it's because life happened. Just know the fic has been outlined to the ending and will not be abandoned I promise :)


End file.
